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Dr. Neo Cortex
Dr. Neo Cortex (born January 18, 1952 age 66) is the one who created Crash Bandicoot as a competition for a fat plumber/adventurer and a blue hedgehog using an "evolve-o-ray," but the machine that was supposed to program Crash's mind wasn't working properly, so Crash is a dumb sack of shit. Thus, Cortex deemed him a failure and tried to murder him in cold blood, albeit he and Crash share a very odd relationship. Appearance Cortex suffers from a skin disease that is going kill him in another eighty or ninety years. He has the upper case letter N'' on his head, but this is not a tattoo. It's actually a birth mark. His head is pretty square too. He oftentimes wears a lab coat and carries a laser blaster of some sort. Amazingly enough, his body, especially in the Naughty Dog games, resembles Brain from ''Pinky & The Brain. History Main timeline Cortex was born to Momma Robotnik (thus marking the second virgin pregnancy in recorded history) on a cold January day. He was raised alongside his twin brother Dr. Ivo Robotnik. She eventually abandoned them both, leaving them to live in the jungle with some apes. There Cortex attended James K. Polk high school where he scored all kinds of "bitches," much to his brother's chagrin. Once he graduated from high school, however, he became an failure at everything. After nine years (and it's a seven-year school), Cortex obtained his degree at the Academy of Evil with a 1.8 GPA. Cortex, with the help of Dr. Nitrus Brio, created Crash with the evolve-o-ray, as stated above. They kicked him out, but Crash soon managed to beat all of Cortex's other mutants and beat Cortex to rescue his bandicoot girlfriend who minutes later broke up with Crash. Cortex spent the next year fucking around in space. His colleague N. Gin then reminded him of his plans to find the 25 slave power crystals on Earth to aide his master crystal in powering the Cortex Vortex to wipe out Hyrule. In retaliation, Crash collected all 42 gems activating good guy Brio's laser beam, destroying Cortex's space station. Brio would lose faith in humanity and go back to being evil a week later. In a stunning turn of events, a magical mask named Uka Uka (who'd been advising Cortex the whole time) was released from his temple prison and recruited Dr. N. Tropy to help Cortex gather the power crystals from the past. Crash finished the levels before Cortex's idiot employees could even figure out where they were. Crash defeated Cortex yet again, leaving Cortex, Uka Uka, and N. Tropy stranded in the distant past. Sometime later, Mario lost a bet with N. Gin and thus had to rescue them. The rest of the continuity is a bit confusing. The first game not made by Naughty Dog Crash Bash can end in the good guys saving the world and presumably thwarting Uka Uka once and all. The end is kind of vague actually, but if the bad guys win, that's definitely a game over for the timeline. Oh, and Aku Aku brainwashed Tiny and Dingodile somehow... for fairness... Uka Uka got fed up with Cortex's shit and asked Dr. Tropy and his newfound trusty sidekick N. Trance to hypnotize Crash since trying to murder him in cold blood worked out so poorly for them. They hypnotized that bastard Crunch as well as Coco, but somehow they hypnotized Fake Crash instead of the real Crash. Crash eventually went on to defeat N. Trance, but Tropy escaped. Crash got bored and went home. There was also a really shitty game called Crash Bandicoot Purple: Ripto's Rampage, but no one gives a fuck about it. People typically don't give a fuck about Crash Nitro Kart either. That is, until the topic of those sequels for the iPhone are brought up. Crash of the Titans onwards In an alternate future, Cortex was overthrown by his daughter Nina after attempting to create a bunch of mutants who Aku Aku then helped Crash possess like a ghost to proceed through the level. This is the future in which everything is dumb to appeal to snot-nosed brats. Cortex then teamed up with Brio again to hypnotize people with a commercial product called the N-V. The cutscenes are presented in a odd manner, and this is coming from the YouTube Poop wiki. Cortex later created a strange entity named Mutant Krabs who murdered him and later Crash. Relationships Crash Bandicoot Crash and Cortex are mortal enemies. Despite this, they have gotten along before, most notably in Crash Twinsanity. In that particular game, Cortex attempted to form a partnership (to save himself from being offered as a sacrifice with the Evil Twins by Uka Uka and Aku Aku) by telling Crash, "I've been like a father to you. I created you. I nursed you... I tried to destroy." However, since Crash has shit for brains, figuratively speaking, he decided to help Cortex, implying that the sin against nature might have a soft spot for the virgin-born scientist. Nina Cortex Of all the people Cortex has wronged in his life, perhaps none have been moreso wronged than his own biological daughter Nina. Although he did send her to a happy family, he later kidnapped her and sent her off to the Academy of Evil where she was brainwashed into evil she is today. In the alternate future of Crash Mind Over Mutant, he also sent her to Evil Public School for taking over his job under Uka Uka. In spite of this, Nina still treated her "uncle" with kindness, helping him fix the Psychotron to save the world from the Evil Twins. She later joined him in Crash Tag Team Racing in a more direct way of trying to kill Crash and his friends (except Aku Aku who was nowhere to be found for whatever reason). Uka Uka In the third game Crash Bandicoot Warped, it was revealed that Cortex who had previously been thought to be the big guy in charge was actually following orders from Uka Uka the whole time. As stated above, Uka Uka imprisoned in a mystical temple with no apparent means of escape, gave Cortex instructions on how to conquer the world with a new video game franchise on PlayStation. Apparently, he was hoping that as ruler of Earth, Cortex would find a way to break the seal and free Uka Uka. Although he failed the mighty Uka Uka twice because of Crash, he was allowed to live and continue serving Uka Uka because apparently a piece of Cortex's headquarters managed to set Uka Uka free by smashing into the temple from outer space. Uka Uka often threatens Cortex's well being and oftentimes takes control of Cortex's body (similarly to how Aku Aku grants Crash invincibility). In Mind Over Mutant, Cortex managed to lock up Uka Uka and drain his power with some form of over-powered bullshit. Tiny Tiger Upon Tiny's defeat in Crash Bandicoot Warped, Cortex said "Tiny was a good fellow. He hated everyone and everything, but a good heart nonetheless." This was said despite Tiny having been enlisted by Brio to stop Crash from helping Cortex gather crystals the week before. It can be assumed that at this point in time, Cortex simply had no idea what to say about a minion of his that was presumed dead at the time... mostly because he didn't know anything about the guy. Gallery Cortex from CrashBandicoot2.jpg|Cortex giving Crash an ultimatum after kidnapping. Cortex TWOC.png|In Crash Bandicoot: The Wrath of Cortex. Dr. Neo Cortex Twinsanity.png|Cortex in Twinsanity. Dr.Cortex.png|Cortex from Crash Tag Team Racing. Daa.jpeg|Cortex's Trollface|link=https://knowyourmeme.com/photos/1477078-doctor-neo-cortex Trivia *Many came to the theory that Neo Cortex was a clown who failed in their works in the circus, but this theory was forgotten, and nobody cares about it. *Cortex prefers Chunky peanut butter to creamy peanut butter. *The reason he doesn't age normally (which was more noticeable in his younger years) is that he, along with Robotnik, were born of virgin pregnancy, making his DNA highly unstable. *His voice actor, Clancy Brown, also voices Mr. Krabs. Category:Characters Category:Humans Category:Males Category:Inventors Category:Super Smash Bros. Lawl Category:Badass Characters Category:Awesome Characters Category:Funny Characters Category:LGBT Category:RISD Category:Villains Category:Scientists Category:Related to Robotnik